In just a matter of weeks, a few close friends told me about some major changes in their lives. Some major butterfly choosing going on.

I get totally jazzed when people choose butterflies. It makes me “squeal happy” and I feel my heart exploding a little bit.

But many times, choosing butterflies has a ripple effect on those that aren’t choosing butterflies. In these close friends’ situations, I’m ripple effected (is that a phrase?) and it’s sad. I’m going to have to find a new rhythm as things change that I have no control over.

Yet, this isn’t about me. For the little bit that things are going to change for me, everything is changing for them. And that’s exhilarating and scary.

So right now, choosing butterflies means cheering them on. And sometimes that’s a hard kind of butterfly to choose, but it is just that – a choice.

I can be sad and discouraged. I can wonder why all these amazing things happen to them and not me. I can try to convince them to stay put, to stop changing.

Photo credit: Mike Morbeck, Creative Commons

Or I can be a cheerleader. I can encourage and support them in practical ways. I can listen to their excitement and fears and tell them I’m proud of them. I can realize this is not about me. It’s about them. They’re the focus.

Sure, it’s sad. In any change, the first step is mourning what was. But don’t let the sadness take over. Let it be a part of the change experience, not all of it.

Because when someone chooses butterflies, they need cheerleaders. And sometimes that means taking a deep breath, putting your own sadness aside in that moment, and saying, “This is amazing! You are going to do so well! How can I help?”