I’ve always been the first to say “New Years Eve is pointless”. I don’t like the pressure to do something epic to ring in the New Year, and I’m not a fan of cliché New Years Resolutions.
But really, I do like the concept of New Years. I like that we celebrate a time marker. I like reflecting on the year – I’ve read so many “top memes/songs/news stories/photos of 2015” in the last few days. I like anticipating what the next year will bring – where will I be this time next year? There’s so much hope and anticipation in that question.
2015 has been a significant year for me. It’s been hard. More than ever, I’ve had the “I can’t wait for this year to be over” conversation. And now here we are. Day 365 of 2015. It’s only a few hours from being over.
When I look back on 2015, here are words I will use to describe it.
I learned how to support people. I learned that support is different than fixing. I can’t fix people’s sadness. I can’t bring back a child, change a cancer diagnosis or rebuild a broken marriage. There’s nothing I can say or do that will accomplish those things, nor is it my job. That revelation was probably the singular most important thing I learned this year. And realizing it freed me up to actually be supportive. I didn’t have to show up with all the answers. I just had to show up.
I’m learning that you have to learn how to grieve. That it is an incredibly individualized experience, and there isn’t a rule book.
Sometimes things fall into your lap when you least expect it – a job, an adventure, the man of your dreams. But opportunities appearing out of nowhere are the exception, not the rule. And I can’t expect the exception. Most of the time, I have to research, hustle and step out of my comfort zone for these opportunities. It’s not romantic, it’s not great dinner party conversation fodder, but it’s real life. And I need to believe it’s worth it on the other side.
One of my favourite memories of 2015 will be my east-coast adventure. I actually miss the east coast, even four months later. When I returned to work, people often said “oh you must be happy to be back in a routine.” No. Absolutely not. Take me back to beautiful scenery, fun adventures, uncontrollable laughing, serious talks, deeper friendships, and life-highlight experiences. It ignited a desire for more adventure in my life.
I’ve found so many ways to distract myself this year. I’ve trained myself to want more and more mental stimulation at any given time. Now I have to work at untraining that. At slowing down and sitting in the quietness of my thoughts. At being bored and listening.
What words describe your 2015?