I saw Black Mass.

If you know me, especially if you knew me in high school, I’m sure you don’t believe this is true.

Because in high school, there were two kinds of movies: “Turner movies” and “not-Turner-movies”. Turner movies were light, fluffy, funny, sweet movies. Not-Turner-movies were movies with gore, violence, suspense or any kind of intensity. I walked out of The Green Mile. I stayed home on a Friday night because my friends saw I Know What You Did Last Summer. I paid money to see Spiderman, and closed my eyes through most of it.

So the fact that I willingly saw Black Mass, an R-rated movie because of the violence factor, is kind of unbelievable.

So let me explain.

My uncle was given two VIP tickets to the premier at TIFF, and asked if I wanted to go with him. I immediately found the “Black Mass” trailer and couldn’t even get through the 2 minutes and 11 seconds.

But to go to a TIFF premier! To get dressed up and see celebrities and watch a movie with the stars of it before it’s released! What an experience!

Do I suck up my fear of scary movies for an experience I might not get again? Or do I stay home on a Monday night and get a decent night sleep?

This was a “choosing butterflies” moment.

So I did it. I got all fancy.

I stood amongst a crowd of people with phones poised waiting for Johnny Depp and Kevin Bacon and Dakota Johnson to emerge from big black cars.

I walked beside the red carpet (they don’t let us regular people walk on it).

I listened to the Director and the stars talk about their experience.

And then I watched a movie inside a gorgeous old theatre.

And for the record, I was right all along to avoid these movies. This one was terrifying. Johnny Depp as Whitey Bulger will most definitely be the star of all my nightmares for the rest of my life.

But the experience was so fun. The energy and the people and just being a part of it was really cool.

The fact that I chose to have an experience, even if it revolved around something that had always scared me, is a big deal. Years ago, I would’ve taken one look at the movie poster and said “no way”. I would’ve missed out on a pretty rare experience to avoid watching a scary movie.

And even though the movie terrified me. Even though I will never look at Johnny Depp or Boston or Chinese food the same way, I can honestly say I’m glad I went.