On running and not throwing up

Posted on October 21, 2014 by lindsturner

Last summer, I decided to find out if you could force yourself to enjoy running.

I participated in a charity 5K early in the summer. I had kind of been going to the gym and running on a treadmill, but I was in no way prepared. And that totally showed when I pretty much crawled across the finish line and proceeded to throw up in the bushes.

Not my finest hour.

The night before that run, a friend casually mentioned that she hadn’t really trained, but was going to run it anyway. “It’s only 5K,” she said.

Who are these people who can run 5K without training? This is totally not me. My natural endurance sits at 0%.

But this race inspired me. Could I run 5K if I actually trained for it?

So I went for it. I signed up for another 5K run in the fall to have something to work towards. Then I downloaded a “couch to 5K” app to my phone to help me train.

As I kept up with the training, I was able to run further and further. Clearly not rocket science, but I was surprised each time I ran just a little further than the last time I went out.

And at the fall 5K run, I ran the whole thing without stopping…and didn’t even throw up! A huge improvement over the run just a few months prior. Training worked! I’m not sure why this very well-known concept surprised me, but it did.

After my first "real" 5K run. Still standing and everything!

After my first “real” 5K run. Still standing and everything!

So this year, I did another two races.

At the first one, I blew through my time goal. That felt even better than accomplishing my “don’t throw up” goal!

Then this past weekend, I ran a second race. And what made it super special was doing it with my “I’m not a runner” friend Mary. At some point in the summer, Mary hopped on a treadmill and decided to see just how long she could run for. Turns out, it was further than she thought.

And when she agreed to do a 5K with me, I was thrilled. It was SO amazing crossing the finish line together! And I think she might be hooked.

Mary and I pretending to be runners.

Mary and I, pre-race

Here’s the thing with running… barring medical conditions, anyone can do it. It may be easier for some people, like my “it’s just a 5K” friend, but with training almost anyone can eventually run a 5K. For me, there are three things that make it possible: small progressions, consistency and mind games.

The “couch to 5K” app was gold for me because it works through small progressions. It starts at intervals of running for 1 minute, walking for 1 minute, and eventually gets up to running for 35 minutes straight. Each session is just a little harder than the last.

Consistency was a lesson I learned the hard way. Missing one run here or there wasn’t a huge deal. But miss two or three in a row and I’ve regressed at least two weeks.

Lastly, it’s a mental battle. Every. Single. Time. I’m not one of those people that “craves running”. I will never feel that way. I had to talk myself into putting on running shoes each and every time, and find ways to make it hard for me to bail. I would bring running clothes to work, and run before going home. Because the second I got home, I found something more fun to do there. I would find places to run with pretty views, often along the paths around Lake Ontario. The best advice came from a runner friend who would tell herself “you will never regret going for a run”. That was often the final kick I needed to put on my shoes and go.

So can you force yourself to enjoy running? I’m not sure I have. But I do enjoy “having ran”. After I run I feel strong and healthy. I feel motivated to do it again, to keep it going.

But I’m not one of those crazy winter runners. So I’m looking for some winter work-out suggestions to keep my endurance from bottoming out again. Any suggestions?

Posted in Fitness | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

A Beautiful reminder

Posted on September 26, 2014 by lindsturner

Last weekend, I went back to New York. I saw three Broadway shows in two days, ending the musical marathon with Beautiful: The Carole King Musical.

Why yes, we did do the "get the playbill signed" thing at the stage door for the very first time.

Why yes, we did do the “get the playbill signed” thing at the stage door for the very first time.

To say I was pumped for this show is an understatement.

When I was 16, I off-handedly mentioned I liked the intro song to Gilmore Girls, Carole King’s “Where You Lead”. My dad was thrilled that his daughter actually liked songs that weren’t sung by boy bands. And the next day, the Tapestry CD was sitting on my dresser. I adored that CD.

So when they created a Broadway show about Carole King’s life featuring her music? I. Was. Seeing. It.

I poured over reviews, videos, and vlogs. Then when the leading lady, Jessie Mueller, won the Tony Award for Best Actress (seriously, could this girl be more endearing?), I couldn’t contain my excitement.

Lyndsay and I with Jessie Mueller, who was just as sweet as we imagined she'd be.

Lyndsay and I with Jessie Mueller, who was just as sweet as we imagined she’d be.

And I’m lucky enough to have an amazing friend, Lyndsay, who was just as excited to see it. We booked tickets a few weeks after the Tony Awards…tickets that were almost as expensive as the roundtrip plane ticket that would get us there. Apparently that happens when the words “starring Tony Award winner” get added the marquee above a show.

So you can imagine my surprise when the lady next to me leaned over before the show started and said, “so who is Carole King anyway? Is she any good?”

I didn’t hide my shock well. I actually did that laugh/cough thing.

“Yeah, she’s pretty good. I’m sure you’ve heard some of her songs. Natural Woman?”
“Umm no.”
“You’ve Got a Friend?”
“I don’t think so.”
“BEAUTIFUL?”
“Not ringing a bell…”

This woman spent the equivalent of a roundtrip plane ticket to see a show she knew nothing about! Who does that?

Well apparently almost everyone in the theatre did that. As the intro to each song played, the audience collectively “ahhed” with familiarity. They were discovering the magic that was this show as it was happening. And I loved that.

I don’t do that very often. When I get excited about something I seek out everything I can find about it – almost to an obsessive degree. And thanks to the magic of YouTube, there’s a lot out there for this (wonderful, magical) show. It was like I was studying for a test. I had memorized facts, and I knew all the answers. I knew what song was next and who would be performing it. I knew each plot twist, and how it would end.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVED this show. It was everything I thought it would be and so much more. But there’s something to be said for the element of surprise. For discovering something as you experience it.

Maybe next time. But that would involve self-control to not Google…

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Ali takes on South America!

Posted on September 18, 2014 by lindsturner

Remember Ali? My friend who first taught me about doing things outside of my comfort zone? The one who intentionally seeks to live a life full of butterflies?

Costa Rica

Ali and I jumping in La Fortuna, Costa Rica in 2009.

Well she’s about to embark on a three-month adventure to South America. All on her own. With only a loose itinerary. No really, the only things she has booked are planes, hiking Machu Picchu and spending time taking care of monkeys at an animal sanctuary.

This is a trip that she’s talked about for years. But the thought of going alone kept stopping her. Well this year she decided to stop waiting for someone to join her and just go. And slowly, the thought of going alone went from scary to exhilarating. I’m so freaking proud of her!

And she’s going to be blogging along the way! So follow her journey…knowing Ali, there will new friends, surprise adventures and many jump shots along the way.

Ali, I love you and I’m so proud of you! I know this will be a life-changing three months for you in ways that you can’t even begin to imagine. Safe travels my friend! And remember what your mom said – no falling in love …unless it’s with a handsome South American man who is willing to move to Canada…with his equally handsome brother for your lovely single friend. (Okay, that last part was my addition)

Ali and I at the beginning of our Jasper adventure in 2012.

Ali and I at the beginning of our Jasper adventure in 2012.

Posted in Inspiration, Travel | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

That is brave

Posted on September 3, 2014 by lindsturner
Say yes to the situations that stretch you and scare you and ask you to be a better you than you think you can be.

“Let’s All Be Brave” by Annie F. Downs

When I started this choosing butterflies journey, I had no idea how many other people were choosing butterflies too, just calling it something else. After Storyline, I realized just how many people talk and write about being brave.

I was never a big non-fiction reader, but these days I can’t get enough of books about living courageous and unordinary lives. And although so many have inspired me, there’s one book that hit me hard in that deep part of my heart. I think because it so eloquently described two major and intersecting themes of my life: being brave and doing life in community.

This precious book is Let’s All Be Brave by Annie F. Downs.

Let's All Be Brave

“Let’s All Be Brave” by Annie F. Downs

In response to her book, Annie has heard so many stories about people being brave. She started the hashtag #thatisbrave so that the rest of the world can be inspired by all the awesome braveness (not a word, I know…) that’s going on.

And I realized there are so many people doing brave things in my life. People who are choosing to do things that are scary and hard – choosing the option that gives them butterflies.

When a friend quits her easy, steady job to start her own business and also take a 3-month trip to South America by herself. #thatisbrave

When a teenage camper puts on a harness to do the high ropes, even though she’s terrified and convinced she can’t do it. #thatisbrave

When a friend decides to do a big presentation at a teacher’s conference. #thatisbrave

When my introverted 10 year-old cousin goes to a One Direction party at the library without any of her friends. #thatisbrave

When a friend finds herself without a job, but then sells most of her stuff – ready to go where God leads her. #thatisbrave

When a friend who was never a runner decides to train and run a 5K, 15K and half marathon all in one year. #thatisbrave

When my parents buy a new house in a new town, after living in the same area for 35+ years. #thatisbrave

When a friend gets married and moves to a new town, far away from “her people” and embraces it. #thatisbrave

When my brother picks a career path that’s extremely difficult to break into, and perseveres, even when it’s really hard. #thatisbrave

When a friend’s life is turned upside down, but she gets out of bed each day. #thatisbrave

When a friend moves to a new country to work at a church, and completely embraces all things Canadian. Including the man she’s now married to, and the baby girl that’s on her way. #thatisbrave

When any friend that is married decides to make that kind of commitment to another human. #thatisbrave

When my single friends who didn’t think they’d still be single take a deep breath, stop waiting for him/her, and start living an awesome life. #thatisbrave

When my cousin leans in to help people through all kinds of struggles. #thatisbrave

When friends move to Africa with their 4 year-old twins to serve at a school for three years. #thatisbrave

When a friend accepts a two-year job offer in Australia. #thatisbrave

When I start a blog about being brave and begin to actively seek out what that looks like in my life. #thatisbrave

I really could go on and on. Look around. People are being brave every day. Sometimes brave looks small and quiet, sometimes brave is giant and loud. But it’s always there, ready to inspire.

What have you seen lately that’s made you think #thatisbrave?

Posted in Inspiration | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

What I learned at camp

Posted on August 27, 2014 by lindsturner

This is the first time I’ve been in the GTA for the last week of August since 2009. From 2010-2013, I spent the last week of August at Camp Oki.

Camp Oki transformed me. Deciding to spend a week of vacation volunteering here was one of the biggest batches of butterflies I’ve ever chosen.

For a girl who spends 40+ hours a week inside a cubicle, my week at camp was about as opposite from regular life as it gets.

Just an ordinary day at camp...

Just an ordinary day at camp…

For one week a year, I sang silly songs, made up dances, and starred in skits. I mediated 11 year-old drama and mastered the art of keeping pre-teen boy/girl friendships in the friend-zone.

I navigated difficult conversations about congenital heart disease and how that might impact future dreams and ambitions. I still remember when one of my campers answered “not yet” to another camper’s question “have you had a heart transplant?”

Because of Camp Oki, I know the difference between a pacemaker scar, an ICD scar, and an open-heart surgery scar. I know what the Fontan procedure is, and not to panic when a camper’s lips are bright blue – that happens when heart kids are cold.

Because of Camp Oki, I know six different friendship bracelet braids, I know how to properly belay a rock climber, and all the words (and moves) to Ice Cream and Cake, Pizza Man, and Squashed Banana. I know all the variations of Boom Chicka Boom, and I’m really good at keeping my elbows off the table.

Because of Camp Oki, I know I can be “on” from 7am to 11pm (and sometimes beyond those hours) for a week straight. I discovered how a supportive community can make people brave. And I know that we are all so much stronger than we think we are.

But this year, choosing butterflies meant not going to camp. It meant trusting my heart when I felt I was “done”, even though I didn’t really understand why. I had given all I could to Oki, and it was time for me to move on.

Camp Oki transformed me as much as it transformed each and every camper. I’m so grateful for that, and am holding on tight to it this week.

Because none of my meals this week involve chanting, screaming and dancing. And it feels a little weird.

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A bittersweet new chapter

Posted on August 11, 2014 by lindsturner

My friend who lives the closest has become my friend who lives furthest away. We went from living in buildings next to each other, to living in opposite hemispheres.

Nina and I met at a home church. We had the typical “where do you live” conversation, then realized we lived in the same condo complex, traded numbers and became fast friends.

I think God orchestrated our paths to cross. When Nina and I met, we both needed a neighbour friend. And that’s what we got.

Nina and I at her goodbye party. And yes, she is wearing a hat with wine corks :)

Nina and I at her goodbye party. And yes, she is wearing a hat with wine corks 🙂

When I was sick, Nina brought over a care package. When it was busy season, I brought Nina dinner. We shared bottles of wine, pots of chili, and bags of apples.

We had many text conversations that went like this:
“I’m having a horrible day.”
“I’m pouring wine now, come over.”

Or like this:
“I just heard there’s a food truck festival in Waterdown.”
“I can be ready in 15 minutes. Are you driving?”

One time, I had to run a random errand late at night. I saw that her light was on and texted to see if she wanted to come. She did.

We walked a lot. To the grocery store, to the mall, to get frozen yogurt, but mostly with no destination in mind.

We watched fireworks and sunsets, and ridiculous YouTube videos. I will always think of Nina when I see Despicable Me or hear City Harmonic.

We talked about bad dates and good dates, about joys and heartaches, about mistakes and family and dreams and fears and Jesus and life. We laughed a lot and cried a bit.

We ran into each other in the parking garage, at the grocery store and once on the street. Our lives intersected naturally and wonderfully.

Because of Nina, the last two years of my life have been fuller, funnier, and a lot less lonely. A friendship like that has God’s hand all over it.

And now, Nina’s on her way to Australia for a two-year secondment with her job. Instead of the communal rec centre separating us, there are a few countries and an ocean. The neighbour chapter in our friendship is over, and a new and exciting chapter with us at opposite ends of the earth is about to begin.

This is what the word “bittersweet” was created to describe.

But I’m inspired by Nina. She’s choosing butterflies in a really big way, and it’s been awesome to journey along with her as she made the decision to go, and watch how things fell into place.

And while we won’t be able to wave from our balconies anymore, I’ll be cheering her on from my corner of the world, as she’ll cheer me on from her corner of the world.

That’s what the next chapter looks like. It’s a new chapter and I’m not sure of the details. But that’s how the best stories go.

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11 things I learned coaching gymnastics

Posted on July 31, 2014 by lindsturner

Through high school, university and even when I started my “grown-up job”, I coached gymnastics. For 11 years I watched kids succeed and I watched them fall down, I made up silly dances and improvised ridiculous games, and I learned a lot about kids, responsibility and people in general.

Last week, I had the opportunity to go back to my gym for a visit. Ever since, I’ve been all nostalgic about my time working there and how much growing I did.

Here are a few things I learned coaching gymnastics.

Kids bounce. 9 times out of 10, if you don’t make a big deal out of a kid falling, they won’t either. And that one time they do, you know to take it seriously.

Kids think it’s funny when you act like a monkey. So do their parents. As ridiculous as it feels, being silly wins. Kids will be silly too, and the parents love seeing teenagers get to that level with their kids (at the appropriate time, of course).

Difficult conversations are worth it. For a big chunk of my time coaching, we had to deal with a very grown-up situation. In hindsight, it’s even more grown-up than I had realized at the time. Eventually I had to initiative a conversation with the “big boss” and tell her some really big concerns. I shook the whole time. She listened, asked me some hard questions, and then afterwards took action that eventually resolved the issue. When doing a hard thing has a positive ripple effect, that’s a big thing for a 17 year-old.

Jumping is a skill that has to be taught. Toddlers innately do this adorably weird gallop thing instead of jumping with two feet. It’s actually pretty difficult to get them to jump properly.

Projectile puke is a real thing. And it doesn’t come out of foam pit.

Part-time jobs allow teens to have a life outside of their school friends. For me, this was huge. I had the best high school friends imaginable – we’re still close. But to have my own “thing” outside of that group was good for me. In fact, it’s where I met the amazing Ali.

My coaching friends, circa summer 2002

My coaching friends, circa summer 2002

Boys are very different than girls. It boils down to this: boys think it’s funny to fart on each other. Girls think it’s gross.

Part-time jobs aren’t always about money. No exaggeration, my first paycheck was $3.25. But I kept going for a few hundred more paychecks (which did get slightly larger…)

When a kid you coach becomes a coach, that’s weird and really cool. Last week, we visited with a gymnast that I coached for probably 8 of the 11 years I worked there. Now she’s running summer camp. I feel old…and really proud.

You find yourself saying the same thing that coaches said to you…even the things that didn’t work. I didn’t go very far in gymnastics because I was scared of everything. When I began coaching, I found myself saying the same thing coaches said to me when I tried to get a kid to do something they were afraid to do. It didn’t work on me and it rarely worked on them.

You can fake confidence, then it becomes the real thing. When I turned 18, I started leading Parent & Tot. I had to tell parents way older than me what to do with their kids – and what not to do. I had no idea how to be that confident, so I faked it. Eventually, it got easier and felt normal.

I’m so grateful for those 11 years of coaching. I still see these lessons pop up in my job, my relationship with the kids in my life, and my relationships in general. It so defined who I am today.

Posted in Childhood | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

A post about a fish

Posted on July 15, 2014 by lindsturner

I have a new roommate. His name is Jesse.

Jesse the fish. Named after Jesse from Hit List (but conveniently works as a reference to Full House, Gilmore Girls and a favourite Broadway actress)

Jesse the fish. Named after Jesse from Hit List (but conveniently works as a reference to Full House, Gilmore Girls and a favourite Broadway actress)

I own a fish. This might be shocking to some of you. If it’s not, let me tell you why it should be:

  • In the three years I’ve lived on my own, I’ve managed to kill three out of three plants. Two out of the three only lived a few weeks. (Did you know they need water EVERY day??)
  • I’ve said multiple times that, at this point in my life, I don’t want to take care of anything living besides myself…clearly demonstrated by the point above.
  • I had a cat named Tina growing up. She died when I was sixteen and it was heartbreaking. I never wanted to go through that again.
  • Other than Tina, I’m not a pet person. I don’t like dogs (I’m sorry! I’m still a good person, I swear) and compare any cat to my dear Tina, so they’re never good enough.

But then I got it in my head that I wanted a fish. I did research and thought a betta fish would be a good starter pet for me. I could probably keep it alive and they’re pretty (high standards, right?). Besides, how emotionally attached can you get to a fish? So Monday after work, I went to the pet store to buy a fish.

The young sales associate took pity on me (or, more likely, on the fish who was drew the short straw to get me as its owner), and walked me through everything I needed. After convincing her that I would change the water weekly and therefore could get the fish bowl instead of the aquarium, she bit her lip and handed me a how to care for your betta pamphlet.

At that point, I decided against asking my second question: “how long can I go without feeding it?” I’m pretty sure she would’ve asked me to leave and put me on PetSmart’s “do not sell to” list.

After a stressful drive home (for both me and Jesse) and trying to figure out if the gravel or water goes into the fishbowl first (I still don’t know), I transferred Jesse to his new home…and then spent the next 30 minutes watching him swim around.

Guys, I have shocking news. It’s been 24 hours and I’m turning into one of those pet people.

I’ve taken pictures and put them on Instagram. I referred to Jesse as my mom’s “grandfish” when I told her about him. At work today, I found myself wondering what he was doing (spoiler: the answer was “swimming”…he’s a fish).

Who am I? This isn’t me! It’s just a fish!

But his survival is completely dependent on me. Nothing has ever been completely dependent on me (other than those plants). And that’s kind of a cool feeling. Plus he’s prettier than all the other fish. (See? I’m a pet person!)

Sigh. Maybe I’m coming around to the whole pet thing. Maybe I could handle a cat…but not until Jesse dies…which could be a while – did you know they can live up to three years? I read that part of the pamphlet after I got home.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Sentences and Exclamation Points

Posted on July 2, 2014 by lindsturner
Photo credit: Libertinus, Creative Commons

Photo credit: Libertinus, Creative Commons

A few years ago, we threw a surprise birthday party for my mom. The plan was for her to stop by my cousin’s house (where the real party was) to pick something up on a way to a (fake) baby shower. She suspected nothing, and everything was going perfectly.

That is, until about an hour before the party when she called my cousin’s house and the 9 year-old answered the phone. “It’s Aunt Marilyn!” she mouthed. My heart froze. The fate of the surprise hung in the hands of an innocent, cannot-tell-a-lie, 9 year-old.

“Um well, we won’t be here…um well, I don’t think we can do that…oh, um, okay.” She hung up the phone, looked me straight in the eye and said, “we have a problem.”

Aunt Marilyn was coming 20 minutes early…5 minutes before the guests were to arrive by. So we sent my brother and his girlfriend back to the house to stall her. She’s too polite to tell them to leave, so she kindly visited with them while eyeing the clock. Once they had stalled her long enough, they let her go. She rushed across town and was completely surprised. The last minute plot twist made that moment even sweeter.

In Moment Maker by Carlos Whittaker, he describes moments as the exclamation point to the sentence, and explains that the exclamation point is useless without a sentence. The sentence is what gives the exclamation point its meaning.

As we scrambled to problem solve at my mom’s surprise party, we made the sentence a lot more interesting. Sure, the sentence would’ve been great without our panicked brainstorming session, but the exclamation point moment was that much more intense because of it.

I think we also have “Exclamation Point Periods” and “Sentence Periods” in life (grammar puns totally intended).

We need periods of our life that are sentences, periods where we plan and create and discover. And sometimes those sentences are long and windy. Sometimes they look more like paragraphs and are not “proper” by conventional standards. They break grammar rules because it’s really the best way to write this particular story. And usually, those sentences don’t make a lot of sense until you’re finished writing them.

But finish a sentence like that with an exclamation point? A huge moment where the build up was long and confusing and broke some rules? Where the ending was completely different than you planned at that first word? Those are the best kind of exclamation points.

As my (haven’t actually met him) good friend Carlos says in his book, “…as you look toward the moments that will serve as exclamation points in your lives, don’t forget to enjoy writing the sentence that goes before the exclamation point. For an exclamation point alone is nothing without the sentence that goes before it.”

Posted in Inspiration | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

The honeymoon is over

Posted on June 25, 2014 by lindsturner

For my blog and I, that is.

For those first few months, it was easy. We had so much to talk about. Those other experienced bloggers who talk about how hard it is to keep a blog going? Who say you have to write, even when it doesn’t come easy? They clearly didn’t have what my blog and I had – we were special.

But then it happened. I missed a post. It was a busy week. But at the same time, I didn’t have a whole lot to blog about. And life kept going. Then I missed another week. No big deal.

Sigh… The honeymoon is over.

Creative Commons. Photo by: Brocken Inaglory

Creative Commons. Photo by: Brocken Inaglory

Now comes the hard part. The part they warn you about. The part where you have to dig deep to keep it going because the fun, the novelty, the thrill are all dimming. It feels like more work to carve out time to care for my blog. And topics don’t just appear out of nowhere anymore. I have to work a lot harder to find them.

It’d be easier just to stop. To just post when I feel like it – when I’m motivated. But like any relationship, you can’t just put in the work when you’re motivated. I’ve got to figure out how to write when I’d rather watch TV or read or just not write.

In a new marriage, there’s a spark. And once the spark goes away, you’re still committed. But the spark isn’t really gone, it’s just harder to ignite. The spark that came naturally now takes work.

With a blog, the commitment obviously isn’t the same. I’m not accountable to another person. Sure people read it, but it can easily fade away without much consequence.

Except that spark existed. And I loved it. And even writing this, I can see the spark again.

So here we are. At the hard part. But the hard parts are always worth it. Always.

Posted in Inspiration | Tagged , | 5 Comments